Thoroughly Unspooky Discourse

As a skeleton who happens to be spooky…I have no opinion. Gah, but I have so many opinions, as a spooky skeleton! Every single one of my opinions, in fact, springs from the fact that I’m a spooky skeleton. Seems like no one wants to hear opinions from that particular angle, so…perhaps I can learn to express opinions from a more accepted viewpoint? Maybe that’s just life. Except I’m not really ‘alive’, tee-hee!

Yes, anyway. That’s exactly the type of thing I should be avoiding. 

Now, when my class starts discussing traffic management plan services in Melbourne, I’ll approach things differently. Today, I expressed my opinion as a spooky skeleton, and someone threatened to feed me to their Intergalactic Outriders, which sounds painful. Bert said he would throw me to the six-foot-high wolves in his home dimension and the time traveller said he’d rather go back a few hundred years and stay there. Very hurtful, in a metaphorical sense, since I no longer have pain receptors to feel genuine pain.

In the next lesson, I’ll still express my opinion, because I must always express my opinion. But I’ll do so differently. “As someone who has to either drive, or share the road with drivers as a pedestrian, I think that traffic management plans are a very good idea. I love the idea of traffic being managed by a professional, instead of by a city planner in an office who only has an architectural degree instead of studying genuine traffic management. That is my opinion…as a concerned citizen.”

And then I will sit down, possibly to stunned silence. Maybe someone will clap, and then everyone will start to clap, and it shall be just like a movie. That won’t happen, if only because that guy greatly dislikes shows of adulation of approval towards anyone but himself, but at least I’ll know, in my own soul, that I expressed my opinion properly. I gave my thoughts on professional car park design consultants, and it wasn’t in any way tainted by spookiness.

It will be much less fun, but that’s fitting in, I guess.

-R. McSkulliam