Car Cruise Crush

Dang, this vehicle is seriously falling apart. Maybe it’s all the racing to work? No…that’s just a bit of fun on my daily commute, fun that involves the occasionally running from the law. But I’m a child of the 90s, so it’s fine. I learned from cartoon ‘Pretty Car Dealer Sailor Hoon’ that getting involved in racing by night is totally fine, so long as you do good things in the day time. And I sell life insurance, which is cool. I insure lives. That means I can be callous with my own once the sun sets.

But yeah, the old Corolla has seen better days. I wonder if there’s a car mechanic in the Ringwood area who won’t ask too many questions. Actually, what am I even saying…mechanics don’t ask questions! Except the pertinent ones that are relevant to the vehicle and their profession. Like, ‘how did your fender get so bent out of shape’, hah oh boy I’m in trouble. That IS a perfectly reasonable question for a mechanic to ask. Okay, this is fine, I just…lie. I will tell them that the car fell down some stairs, accidentally, thus causing it to sustain the injuries it carries today. The perfect cover story. And if they inquire further, I’ll just say that it was very emotional for both me and the car and it’s something we’d rather not talk about.

Yes, perfect. Gee, why don’t people try this stuff with the police? A few of my friends have been caught and fined by the law for racing, and they never came up with anything quite that good. Guess I have something to try out if I ever get nicked. I still have to find a mechanic though. A reputable brake repair specialist near Ringwood, to be precise. My brake pads are worn away to practically nothing, which I THINK is most of the reason I keep crashing into things.