All the Tinting!

Did you know that window tinting can reduce 99% of UV rays?

Isn’t that outrageous? Why not 100%, for crying out loud? Good grief, the solution to this is so obvious. You get a bunch of evil scientists who’ve had their schemes foiled, you stick them all in one big room, and then boom. Profit. Profit for all! Except for them, that is, but they’ve all tried to destroy and/or conquer the world in various ways, so my sympathy is limited. The government keeps replying to my letters, saying that they have no program in place to use the expertise of a bunch of evil scientists for good, but I’m not sure what to believe at this stage.

Just think about the bright future that the office window tinting companies near me could have if we put great minds to work on the solution. Offices could practically be blacked out, which has, like, a gajillion benefits. For example:

-Tinted windows are, like, wicked cool. They make people outside think that whatever’s happening inside must be super important.

-They stop people from reading important documents through telescopes, which is totally a thing that happens, for real. It’s the most common form of corporate espionage. Google it.

-They stop you from slowly cooking when you’re sitting at your work desk. That’s what the office workers in Melbourne are, provided they’re sitting near a window: rotisserie chickens, cooking in THE slowest possible way over many years. With window tinting? It’s barely more than a light broiling.

-Black is… the new black. People will glance at your building and want to work there. They’ll want to give their money to whoever works there. Profit!

-They save on air conditioning, as the sunlight reaches your perfectly tinted windows and beats a hasty retreat. No unwanted rays entering THIS office!

You get it. Commercial window tinting for offices in Melbourne: it’s what our city needs now. All we need is a group of diabolical evil geniuses to put their minds together and add that 1%.

Yep, that sure is all we need!