Dismal Viewing

So, not a fun night overall.

I sat down for my usual Fantasy watching party, convinced that the epic battle was going to make up for a couple of episodes of weak writing. First I realised that I’d accidentally bought salty and sweet popcorn, which I hate, so I couldn’t have my traditional snack. I was all out of hazelnut coffee so I had to just have a lemon green tea, which is a downgrade.

And then the episode sucked beyond all reason, so there’s that. Seriously, the Noonday Princess dying at the hands of Daria, after which all her princess crew exploded in a shower of glitter and rainbow confetti? And the whole episode was so brightly lit that you could hardly see a thing!

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I might have made some bad decisions in a fit of ensuing rage, and now I’m having my car towed to garage for car repairs. Glen Iris is the only place nearby that has a service centre that’s open, so it has to go there. I was so angry at what I’d just seen that I went for a long and hot-headed drive, blasting through yellow lights and taking corners a little too fast, and the long and short of it is that I ended up plummeting down an embankment and almost writing off my car. Fortunately it wasn’t wrapped around a tree or anything quite that serious, so it could’ve been worse, but still. It was the perfect end to a disappointing evening, and I blame Fantasy for raising my hopes with quality television and then shattering them by being just the worst before it ends.

Yes, Fantasy is the reason I need car servicing, you heard. In fact, so many people watch this show that I can only imagine that there have been hundreds of similar incidents, with people getting into their cars all angry and driving around and then needing car servicing. Malvern drivers, I apologise for my behaviour, but I’m sure I’m not alone in it.

Just you wait. This will lead to lawsuits soon enough.