Glass: Fascinating

As an alchemist, I have a keener interest in science than my brothers and sisters in the mystic arts. That might be the reason I purposely arranged a demonstration in front of the king in which I promised to turn the castle dung-heap into piles of gold, but actually just cast a spell that made it violently multiply and bury the whole building.

One boot through the banishment portal later, I have a sore rear-end but also a whole world of science to explore! I’m now in a small complex they call an ‘apartment’, and part of the wall are clear because of ‘windows’. These appear to be normal and ubiquitous, especially considering the numerous window replacement services Melbourne seems to have on offer in its marketplace.

I’ll mark them down on my list of things I think we should have an honorary parade for every week, but are instead treated as normal. Window replacement… how can something so wondrous be so common?

The composition appears to be based in sand; it’s quite curious. There was no great abundance of sand in our realm save for the great Southern Wastelands, ruled by the Sorcerer Warlord Nev-Tesh and guarded by an army of scorpion-platypus-cockatoo hybrids. Of course, the Desert of Inexorable Despair and Difficulty of Navigation is fraught with dangers of its own, such as magical sinkholes, tunnelling tooth-wyrms and roaming Revenant Sand Golems.

What I’m saying is that glass replacement was a pretty far-off dream, seeing as how we couldn’t really get any sand to make glass in the first place. I suppose, given how much sash window replacement Melbourne has going on, their deserts must be quite a bit friendlier. Or maybe they just get their sand from the beach, something we never had either.

Oh yes, the beach! Great cultural centres, places of revelry! I’ve just been invited to my first ‘beach party’. Much valuable data shall be accrued.

-Tra-la-la-fally Vortingle Slopkin