Burgers and Drains

I recently heard the phrase ‘twin burger’, which is the very specific name for when twins are friends with the same person and the three of them hang out together.

Naturally, understandably, this makes me extremely angry, for obvious reasons. The burger is named after what’s inside of it, not what’s making up the outside. Otherwise 99% of burgers would be ‘bread burgers’. Ham, cheese, chicken, macaroni…add ‘burger’ to the end, and that’s your product. Simpletons.

People use words every single day, so you have no excuse to get them wrong. Don’t even get me started on drain cleaning and repairs. Melbourne, for an actual fact, owes a great debt to drainage professionals who have to listen to them describing totally the wrong thing over the phone, which results in them bringing the wrong materials, thus causing the postponement of work. I should know, because I worked on the phones of my uncle’s old drain clearing business for twenty years before he shut it down, and people just did NOT know what was up. They’d call in saying that their sewer had exploded, and we’d ask if it was the one in the road. They’d say yes, and we’d arrive with all our gear to find that their kitchen sink is leaking and they just didn’t have a clue what ‘road’ meant in our strange drainage language.

Another time I sent out the whole squad because a person said their whole drainage system was infested with roots. Yep, kitchen sink, again, because ‘roots’ means a bunch of pieces of vegetable that were festering in the pipe and smelling bad.

Drain clearing isn’t cheap, you know. We had some of the best high pressure jet cleaning in Melbourne, back in the day, and in today’s era it’s probably doubly powerful. It is NOT meant to be used to blast clear a clump of hair in your bathroom sink.

Buy a plunger, if you can figure out what one looks like!