The Office Stud

We’ve got some MAJOR problems in the office. In short, Annabelle is getting really friendly with Vince and I think she’s way too good for him. I’m Derek Price, the office stud. There’s like… no way she’d want to go out with some dragon-obsessed loser and not me, Derek Price, certified stud. But somehow, they’ve become friendlier than friends, if you know what I mean. The other day I saw Vince coming back from lunch and he held the door open for her, and she’s all like “thanks”, I almost put my fist through the wall.

That actually wouldn’t matter, because we have office fitouts happening soon and the wall next to my desk is getting knocked down. Man, I am all about office interior fitouts. Sydney has some of the best in the country. It’s all a lot of tearing up stuff, and putting new stuff in, which I appreciate because it’s DIY and I’m Derek Price, office stud. I like manly things, like power tools and hunting foxes, except not that last thing anymore because refraining from killing animals for fun is manly. Foxes are a grey area there, due to being an invasive pest, but Annabelle really likes them and I’m the type of manly stud who respects a woman’s feelings by not hunting the animal she likes for sport. What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, so, this office fitout is going to be sick, bro. I think we’re losing all of these walls, and getting NEW walls, and the new walls are going to be sick as. Better walls than the walls we had before, that’s for sure. They’ve told us not to come into work on that day, but I’m kind of a DIY-loving office stud, you see, so I might come to see the office fitout people and maybe give them a few of my suggestions. You know, like, ‘you should put that there’ and ‘my desk should go right in the middle, surrounded by glass’ all that. I could’ve owned my very own office interior design company. Sydney is missing out there, really: I could be Derek Price, an Office Fitout Stud instead of just being an office stud. I should mention that to Annabelle, probably. Just, like…in passing. 

-Derek Price, office stud